Wednesday, May 10, 2006

I Hate Star Wars

I hate Star Wars. I really hate Star Wars. Mere words cannot describe exactly how much I hate Star Wars. If there were any justice in the world whatsoever it would be receive the same critical plaudits awarded to Plan 9 From Outer Space. And at least Edward Wood didn’t decide to make 3 different versions of it (or is it 6 or 9? I can’t remember. And who cares!). Plan 9 also makes you laugh.

Will somebody please shoot the moronic twenty-something males who worship this film and exalt George Lucas to the status of a modern day Jesus Christ. On second thoughts, can you also shoot all the cretins in their 30s who do the same too. Unbelievable that the film has been out for so long. You would have thought these buffoons would have stopped collecting stupid plastic toys and living with their mothers by now. Just because you have a vaguely flashy car and maybe had sex once or twice in your life it doesn’t stop you from being the living embodiment of the comic book guy from the Simpsons. “I’ve wasted my life”. Indeed you have. You’ve wasted it watching some of the crappest slop Hollywood has to offer.

Yeah, the story is based on some universal truth. Something we can all relate to. I really don’t care. I could probably relate to a film about going to the corner shop for a pint of milk. I wouldn’t want to watch the bloody thing though. It’s been so long since I’ve watched the utter drivel that is Star Wars that I can’t remember what the actual universal story is. Something about growing up and good against evil. Might as well be American Pie Part 7 or something.

Star Wars go to hell.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are a blithering idiot. Chewbaka is your mum!

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

Tim from Spaced had it pegged

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

Couldn't agree with you more!

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ditto ! For that matter, I hate Star Trek too. And guess what ? I love science fiction in general. But these 2 franchises are soooo overrated. They are not nearly as super-intellectual as nerds would love to assert.

The Aliens movies ( except the 4th perhaps ) are slighty more interesting. And that's not saying much !

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

keep you stupid ass ideas to yourself... if u wanna bitch about it, whatever but dont insult. You just a fucking ghost who does nothing but type your useless opinions on the internet all day. Fuck you

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Blogger The Misplaced Soul said...

I completely fucking agree. I love science fiction but Star Wars is borderline fantasy and for kids. It's cheeseballness along with Star Trek pisses me off.

7:31 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

what the hell do you mean 6 or 9 different versions... they're not versions, they're chapters in the same story. have you ever actually seen star wars? or were you too busy doing blow and sucking dick in the 70's to go see a movie or three?

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

so why do you hate star wars?

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Anonymous kinderegg said...

I have to agree that star wars is a kids movie. Can there be any doubt of this when all of its fans are in their 30's now. Meaning they were all kids when the first three (chronologically speaking) came out. Overrated no doubt.

4:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

why does it bother you so much? I love star wars i grow up with it. Unsuprisingly i left behind my star wars toys when i reached my teens, but that doesnt mean i cannot keep on enjoying the films now i am an adult. Out of interested are you an adult? You certainly rant like a child, maybe you have some personal issues with star wars from your past that are probably best kept to yourself. Either way i think the saddest thing is that you take so much time to criticise those who you dont know nor do you any harm. Now that really is sad.

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Blogger Clinton said...

I agree.

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

Amen brother. The worst part about star wars is it's fans, frankly. Embarrassing! Look at the posts these mouth breathers have made.

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Blogger echpoh said...

yes i hate this freaking series too, can u say geeksmania? thi i love sci fi movies but i just hate this shitty movie cos its sooo corny any yes its BORINGZZZZ!!!

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I totally agree. Fuck Star Wars.

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Star Wars is vapid, baddly written, woodenly acted (apart from old pros Guiness and Cushing)and flattly directed. It's greatness and thematic depth have only been applied retrospectively and I don't believe for a second that Lucas had even heard of Joseph Campbell when he made it and really was just trying to do his version of Flash Gordon (which he couldn't get the rights to). It also brought to an end one of the most interesting eras in American film history (one in which said films were made for intelligent grown ups rather than spotty adolescent boys)and brought in a new one (that's still with us) in which the quality of a film is secondary to it' marketing and tie-in merchandise. Empire Strikes Back is marginally better (benefitting from being script-doctored by the great Leigh Brackett and helmed by a competent director) but is still lumbered with all that Yoda nonsense. Raiders of the Lost Ark, Back to the Future and the original Superman are much better examples of populist cinema done well. Lucas couldn't direct traffic, let alone a good film.

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